5-7-2020 Fiction

Music

"Tonight we're going to unbox your feelings for me," he said matter factly with a chill to his voice. If only she could respond so calm. She struggled internally to be stoic, to hide her desperation and her concerns. She had no idea what to expect but knew he'd dig into the core of her being; he'd find secrets. She lowered her head to avert her eyes almost immediately and just as quickly, his hand was under her chin lifting it back up. He forced her to look at him. The more he stared into her eyes, the more she began to unravel.

Come clean she willed herself. Desperation took hold when she realized she couldn't risk it. Her face went from the composure of a poker player to crumpling almost in on itself in agony. The sharp abrupt change in her demeanor caused him to blink rapidly at her a moment but he didn't say a word. He only continued to stare. Listening.

"Please don't hurt me," She begged suddenly. The sincerity cracked her voice. The absurdity of asking a sadist not to hurt was momentarily lost on her.

"Oh my, such innocence," he murmured caressing her cheek and trailing down the side of her neck, "such naivety. Don't you understand little girl that growing up hurts? That I teach you through the pain?" His eyes penetrated her unwaveringly.

"I am too weak," she confessed in tears. He reached out and whisked a few drops away in such a manner as to suggest how useless these tears were to him.

"Which means you need me more than ever."

She almost fell apart right then but steadied herself just enough; barely holding on and yet congratulating herself on what she managed. In the end, he did nothing, at least in that moment. All it took tonight was his eyes glowering down into hers. The fear was unbearable. Secretly she marveled at the way he took down another wall without a single strike on her flesh. His words not even sharp as razors; they didn't have to be and he knew it. One layer shedding was tolerable. She sighed a little easier as he turned to walk, giving her the impression that this was all.

"I won't abandon you in the pain," he said pausing his footsteps, "I won't do what you had done to me."

Her eyes closed trying to contain all the deeper tears, the ones that weren't as easily controlled or stopped once they began. She refused to let them fall, refusing to be sliced open by his parting remark. Her resolve now robust; she could keep it all in. She could continue to hide within herself forever if she damn well chose, and that, he also knew. But before his fingertips touched the doorknob, she fell to her knees. Her eyes opened, flitting back and forth at the floor, seeming incredulous at what had happened. Then a look of acceptance took her face and she let out a pitiful wail. A trumpet call of sorts announcing some seal had been broken, some new level of excavation achieved.

"Music," he said with a smile and turned the knob.