That strong urge to follow, to drink someone up and let their presence fill you, to fall into their personal spiral and go deep down. Obedience isn't n easy thing but sometimes, you get a little help from this urge deep inside that makes following a cinch. It can happen randomly or be nurtured and brought forth by either side of the slash.
I haven't figured out what sparks mine. I know it's very person specific and that those individuals are rare. Maybe it happens because having someone get into your mind is simply an intoxicating thing in its nature. Whatever it is or wherever it comes from, I know it drags my inner slave all the way to my surface. And obedience becomes my world and no more a struggle. It doesn't stay constant, needs repeatedly stoked by either party, but it's almost too strong for me to handle.
I know I can completely submerge in obedience and lose myself so it's good it's not constant. Sometimes I almost wish that it was, not that I hate myself much anymore, but because the bliss I feel inside obedience is what tells me there is indeed a heaven and a God.
The peace a Dominant man can rain down on me with his will is a level of peace I can't seem to achieve on my own. We humans surrender to such bullshit in our lives. From toxic jobs, people, to our vices and addictions. I chose to surrender to this feeling. I want to obey and serve. I wholly miss it.
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